Pop Can People

Stories and illustrations by Andrea Victory

There is a dimension where single can consumable garbage has overtaken the planet. The inhabitants have melded and become one with the pop cans, creating a species of Pop Can People that are obsessed with disco parties.

The Pop Can People

It’s hard to say what really happened; either the garbage overtook the planet so much and the humans guzzled so much soda that they evolved into pop cans, or the pop cans were so plentiful they evolved into a kind of hybrid human. No one knows exactly because the Pop Can people don't care about history. They don’t care about very much, actually. They pretty much care only about partying, dancing, and having fun.

The Pop Can people have forgone our normal naming conventions of last names, legacy, and meaning. They call each other single-syllable onomatopoeic names like:

* Zoop
* Zop
* Zap
* Pow
* Zoom
* Fizz
* Fitz
* Bam
* Boom
* Gulp
* Woosh

And so on. Don’t you think these names sound fun? They do. And to them, fun is all that matters.

The thing to remember about the Pop Cans, and this is said with respect, is that they are all bimbos. Every single one of them. They take pride in being bimbos even though they don’t really know what it means, and they don’t care.

They communicate mostly with pops, fizzes, hisses, and gestures. Put your hands up and stick a foot out, and they’ll know you’re ready to catch a beat.

If you encounter a Pop Can person somehow, if they end up in your dimension or you theirs, remember, just dance. Throw your hands in the air and give up your cares, and you’ll be fine. Just a warning, you will at some point need to leave because in your dimension, you most likely don’t want to party until the end of time. They do, and they will. They often expire (lose their bubbles and fizz) on the dance floor, and while they all hate to see one of their short-term friends go, they turn to each other and respond, Oh nooo! But then they are immediately distracted and move on with lightning speed.

Part of this supersonic moving on is due to what is known outside of their dimension as Dazzle Brain (shiny object syndrome). Given that they are pop cans and tend to be shiny, they see each other and get excited and distracted and collectively go in search of a beat and a place where they can gather and disco.

Don’t feel bad for the Pop Can people, while their planet is mostly garbage and their culture is mostly nonsense, there is heart in what they’re up to. They’d tell you they’ve realized that life is short (very short if you’re a Pop Can), and that the best moments are the ones that are shared, the ones that are fun. They’d tell you that if they could, but they can’t, because they prioritized party vibes above all else and so… yeah.